The perfect Gift for mothers to be
Blooming together, “…made my days during pregnancy much more soothing.”
Being pregnant happened a little bit unexpectedly, although it had been only two months earlier when we started imagining we could have a baby together.
During the time of thinking about being pregnant, I found Blooming Together and kept in mind that this would be handy if I became pregnant. So I found myself on a Friday night in the emergency room because of nausea and dizziness. That’s when the doctor was congratulating me.
From there, our journey of blooming together as a family had begun. I experienced morning sickness that should be called, “all day long sickness.” As soon as I entered the kitchen or opened the fridge, I felt like vomiting. But following the recommendations of the book helped to overcome the inconveniences. Although it was sometimes difficult to keep up with the daily meditations and affirmations, I enjoyed them a lot when I finally found the time to do them.
Arranging the birth
My gynecologist worked in a private hospital, and after hearing from a friend’s midwife, I knew that she was known to have a track record of an above average cesarean birth rate. So looking for a personal midwife became an obsession for many reasons. Because I was afraid to be alone during the hours of giving birth, because my mind created an evil gynecologist, because no family was living close to me, because my best friend around was also pregnant with a birth date of three days earlier, because I was not sure If my partner would manage to be there on time, I was anxious.
Three months before I gave birth to Alba, the only hospital in the region closed, which was famous for supporting women to have the kind of births they wanted. During further research, I found out that no personal midwife was available during the time I would need one. I should have asked for one as soon as I knew that I became pregnant!
Also, all the people I met during my pregnancy couldn’t wait to tell me the horrible stories of their own birthing, or of what they heard from others. With all the hormones, and the fear that I would have to face the pains all by myself, I was nearly going nuts.
To stop all this thinking and planning I did the Blooming Together partner meditation to relax myself a little bit. It was time to face everything that was distressing me and put it aside. So these are the 3 lessons I learned through the meditations to do before giving birth:
1. I have a different story to tell
You can listen to others stories of birth and disengage yourself from it at the same time. When this happened to me, I said to myself: “This is a story of another person. I have a different story to tell.”
2. Connect to the positive
I connected myself with the positive history of my family lineage, the story I had heard so many times, that my mother gave birth to my older brother and to me fast and easy. I said to myself: “I will give birth like my mother, fast and easy.”
3. My baby and I are going to do this together
When you are out there to give birth, it all boils down to one thing, you have to get this done. There is no one who can deliver for you. You can’t go home if you don’t like it. Not your partner, not your midwife, not your doctor – it’s you and your baby who will do the work. So I did face it. I said to myself: “No matter what and where it will happen, my baby and I will do this together. The rest will fall into place.”
So, all the affirmations that are suggested in the Blooming Together book are a good base to create your own. Make your personal connections to them and create for yourself the ones that work for you. Go and face your fears and worries about your baby, pregnancy and birthing. Giving birth is not only a reproduction it is a recreation of life. And as a female being it is on you to not reproduce the same stories – give your family and baby the chance of re-creation where everything becomes possible.
So I don’t want to let you leave without the story of what finally happened during my birthing.
Five days before the calculated birth date, I woke up with a crystal clear mind. It was early morning, the sun was shining and I felt connected with the stars. It felt like the stars created an opening for the birthing. I was still feeling energized so I decided not to shop for the groceries with my partner and his daughter, like we usually do on Saturdays. I wanted to be alone with myself and walk in the woods.
I went to breathe the fresh air, to feel the sun shining through the leaves on my skin, to inhale deeply the scents of nature and the sounds of the birds. I talked to my baby girl and told her that the next time, when we go there, she will see all this with her own eyes, this marvelous world. My baby and I enjoyed the silence together.
When I came back, we enjoyed a lazy Saturday in the house, and before I went to bed, I took a bath to relax. I just started dreaming when a sudden pain woke me up again. It had begun. I didn’t want to wake up the others, so I went into the kitchen and the bathroom, back and forth, then, I thought that the waves seemed to increase to very often.
I checked the time between the waves. It was already between 7 and 8, minutes so I woke my partner. My amniotic fluid broke, and then I called the midwives in the hospital, to alert them that I would come soon. The birth proceeded very fast; the waves were very strong and frequent. I rejected the thing they wanted to put into my hand as an infusion for emergency reasons. I found myself thinking, “I want to go home now.” Then the midwife kept on saying close your eyes or the pain relief hormones won’t be produced. I mostly kept my eyes closed and held the hand of my partner. The pains were strong and I didn’t know what to do to find a relief, so I screamed very loud. It didn’t really help but at least I did something. When the midwife was telling me that she can see the head, I was thinking this is like in a movie, she must be joking. We just arrived here. And then the baby arrived. They placed her directly on my chest. And there she was, screaming very loud like I did before. She was in my arms, greasy, warm, and just a few moments in this world. That was the moment my gynecologist came into the room. The midwife called her too late – on purpose. But it didn’t matter anymore. After 2 hours and 50 minutes from the first birth sign, until I held my little girl in my arms, I was experiencing the sweetest and happiest moment in my life. Nobody tells you that your baby smells so delicious when it is born. While the midwife was delivering the placenta my little baby girl started to breastfeed.
During the first two weeks I had a hard time to keep breastfeeding, because I had experienced a lot of pain. There was one little detail I discovered that I did wrong. I was doing some research (I wonder how the mothers in this world survived without internet) and found a German website, where I found some explanations that really helped me. http://www.stillkinder.de/anlegen-ohne-schmerzen/ Now, little Alba is 6 months and we are a real family. She is healthy and crying a little, and filling our hearts with unconditional love.
I want to thank Aerin and Rakel for creating Blooming Together just in time for my pregnancy. With the meditations and the explanations of what is happening during all the weeks of pregnancy, the audio book was a good companion. Maybe you would consider writing another Blooming Together book for some pregnancy exercises, or for afterbirth recommendations. I kept moving with energy passes from the Being Energy workshops and stayed fit and without back pain for the entire 40 weeks.
Great work!!! Thanks from the bottom of our hearts.
Saskia & Alba