Mother’s day is coming up and Rakel and I would like to inspire you to do something new and different: To dedicate a few minutes of your busy schedule to think about your mom with honesty and courage.

Mother’s day can be celebrated with flowers, presents, thank you cards, etc. But you don’t need us to tell you that. You know how it goes. So we want to share something different today. We want to give you the support and tools for you to dig inside yourself and give your mother the BEST gift ever, the one you always meant to give her, the one she will carry with her beyond this life time.

We want you to join us to acknowledge the “shiny and the messy” of your relationship with your mom; to be open and vulnerable and write it. We can only see the wholeness of things when we acknowledge both, the ying and the yang, the light and the dark. Shadows is what creates a three dimensional picture. When discovering our mother’s depth, we can see her light even more bright, and to then see our own.

From the beginning our relationship with our mother was messy and shiny. She changed our diapers, fed us, enjoyed our cuteness, missed long hours of sleep, felt pleased of her baby, etc. As we grew up, the relationship kept having messy moments “don’t go out with those friends” and shiny moments “filled with pride at my high school graduation”.

Today as adults, more than one feeling arises when we think about our mothers. A loving smile may burst in my lips and at the same time we may get frustrated with the thought “oh my mom is always giving me advice” or “my mom keeps complaining about my baking, my way of driving, of raising my child” “why can’t she just tell me “honey, you are great,”.

Loving feelings, frustrations, joyful tenderness, anger and irritation, deep caring can sometimes be felt all at once. Yep! Mothers come in all the colors and shapes, and the relationship mother-daughter is one of the most complex one that exists.

Here what to do:  simply open your laptop or grab a pencil and start writing. Here a few guidelines:

 What inspires you about your mom? What do you like about her? In other words, what is the shiny part?
 What you don’t like about her? How she gets in your nerves sometimes? What is the messy part?
 What amends you would like to make? Anything you need to apologize for? Anything you will like to put on the table to lift you both up?
 And, what are your true feelings, at heart level? If for a moment you can put aside all the hurts and wrongs what images, memories come to your mind?

Write it all out without editing. You can review it at the end, once everything comes out, the shiny and the messy, the tears and the laughters. Be honest, loving, take responsibility for your part and allow true love to flourish through you.

Here is my letter, I hope will inspire you to do this TODAY and not to wait!!!

“Mom, your endurance and courage still inspires me today. When pregnant with me, with 4 small kids already in your home, you took daily shots of insulin to save the pregnancy. Today, that fact still moves me to tears. And it inspired me to have a home birth, and be brave and trust myself that I could do it. I thank you for that.

Mom, I carry your unbending love in my heart. During my teens and your menopause years we had rough times. We cried, screamed and suffered. I mistreated you, I ignored you, I lied to you. And yet, you never gave up on me. When I ended up in the hospital with a concussion after a night dancing with too much alcohol on my head, you were the first person I saw when I opened my eyes. I couldn’t receive it then, I receive your love now. How strong our link is, beyond mistakes, beyond flights, beyond death.

Mom, I know I spooked you when you met my midwife wearing a white turban in her head. I know you didn’t like it when she sent you and dad to the museum and you miss the birth. That was necessary for me to stop being a daughter who has her mother in the pedestal. I needed to grow up and become my own MAMA. And I did and you celebrated me with red roses. The same ones Diego the Indian offered to the pregnant Virgin of Guadalupe. The same red roses dad gave you every year to celebrate mother’s day. Now I understand the significance of it.

And mom, thank you for being who you have been. A leader of the household, caring for others, opinionated, harsh and judgmental, supportive, inspiring and for being my mom. Sometimes unfair, letting my brothers get away with things, not being able to communicate with your daughters and sometimes the best caring and inspiring woman I have ever known.

The shiny and the messy in our relationship all rests in the hands of LOVE.

I have missed you, terribly. May 9 marks two years since you closed your eyes for the last time, and I know you were upset and irritated. I know you died like a warrior fighting and grasping each breath that the cancer had taken from your lungs.

You live in me, not just your memories, your courage, your love, all lives in me. I can feel your presence daily and I am so happy to be raising a 5 year-old that has the same passion and talent for drawing and art crafting that you had.

So you and me, and all mothers and daughters out there, a big eternal hug and we keep celebrating each other BIG TIME!

Happiest Mother’s day, you are always in my heart!”

Aerin

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